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Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Making the Elliptical My Bitch

On Monday, the first day at the gym I was all like "Hey baby I'm just gonna hop on the elliptical and do 20 minutes on there, then 20 on the bike, and then 20 on the treadmill."

Then I hopped on the elliptical and started trotting along. 

I did not look like this:


Umm, yea - I made it about 45 seconds before it started beeping and telling me I was going too slow. So I tried to go faster. 

Epic Fail. 

I threw up the deuces and went over to the bike. 

Epic Fail.

I hung my head down, went back over to the treadmill beside Keith, and did my 60 minutes on the treadmill (have I told you that I HATE the treadmill?).

On Tuesday (day two), There were no treadmills available cause of all the horrible, awful, disgusting, wishy-washy people (they should be ashamed) that joint he gym at the start of the year and piss off all the regulars AND every single blogger (I'm totally one of those people [someone who just joined, not a pissed off blogger] - except I ain't leavin after a month) - so we had to do our pre-weights warm up on the elliptical. 

OH GOD! NOT THE ELLIPTICAL!!!

I hoped on and this time I lasted a full five minutes. Then I decided. I decided that I am not going to let that machine get the best of me. Instead - I'm going to make that standing up/biking/running/cleary schizo machine my be-otch!!!

Every day I will go a little longer that the day before - no matter how much I want to get off, and throw the thing off the balcony at the gym. 

And I WILL be up to 60 minutes on that piece of crap thing by the end of March. And when I've accomplished that - I will move on to making the bike my bitch, too. And watch out, stair stepper - over in the corner looking so smug- no one is safe from my wrath!

What's your least favorite, can't stand it, wish it never existed piece of gym equipment?


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