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Friday, February 10, 2012

Martha Jane's Top 10: Rules for Gym-time

10. Never wear light grey pants if you are a crotch sweater. No sweaty Camel Toe, please.  

9. If I can see nipples - then, Dude, you are not wearing enough shirt.

8. Please, for the love of all things Holy - take a shower. 
7. If you cannot life the weight you are holding without scream/grunting so loud that the whole place can hear you - it's time to take it down a couple pounds. 
6. If you need to spit - BTW...WHY? WHY would you need to spit?!? - please walk the 10 feet into the locker room and spit in the sink, rather than the water fountain. 
5. Staring at me will not make me do my sets faster. It just won't. 
4. If you are able to talk on your cell phone (laugh, giggle, carry on) while on the treadmill - it might be time to go a little faster. 
3. Standing in the weight section talking to your boyfriend will he lifts weights does not count as a workout, and it will not get you in shape. 
2. Eating a DOUGHNUT (i'm not joking - I saw this) - on the treadmill might be a little counter productive.
1. It bears repeating - TAKE A SHOWER!!! 


  1. Haha, I love how no matter who you are or where you live, EVERYONE has the same gym horror stories! I've never seen a doughnut on the treadmill before, but the staff at my old gym used to eat Chinese food at the reception desk. HELLO?! We can ALL smell that.